issue 19: teacher appreciation wk

everyone appreciate me!!!!! okay???? kidding, that's not what this is about, but wouldn't it be funny if it was?

Hi hi hi,

We’re letting my day job bleed into my side gig for a second here, hope that’s okay. I’ve spent the last year teaching a class of twelve toddlers who honestly hold my entire heart in their tiny (crazy strong) fingers. It’s teacher appreciation week and I’ve been showered with love, but it’s also been a really hard week for a million different reasons. It’s gotten me thinking about teachers and how insanely amazing they are.

It makes me sad to think about adults who think they’ve grown out of that setting. Sure, maybe school isn’t everyone’s jam like it is mine (I love a good pen, sue me!!!!). But I don’t think anyone should grow out of learning. I love watching my babies so much because every day is filled with massively brave, messy steps. Everything is new to them and they want to grab it all in their sticky hands. Maybe after existing in this world for so many years we forget there’s so much out there we don’t know yet. We build ourselves a life that exists within 20 square miles, we forget how giant the world really is. Just watch a nat geo film, though, that’ll make you feel small. Like did you know crocodiles can’t stick their tongues out? Or that a newborn kangaroo is the size of a lima bean?? Did you FURTHER know that there are such things as immortal jellyfish that are basically benjamin buttoning up a storm in the ocean???

I had to take a second to gather myself, I got really excited to tell you guys those facts. Isn’t learning fun?

I think the best artists are the best students. It takes so much bravery to be so completely clueless. Expecially when you’re a grown up and trying to convince yourself and everyone else you’re such a grown up!!! Side note: does anyone ever feel like an actual grown up?? Will that happen to me before I’m 60? I simply think we’re all just walking around feeling a lot more like toddlers than we care to admit, trying to cover it all up so nobody knows. I think the brave thing would be to stop pretending sometimes.

Walking into a painting group with folks twice and triple my age, that was vulnerable of me. Opening myself up for a critique during a drawing class (nooooot my strong suit) with peers I thought were a thousand times better than me, that was brave. It all made me better as an artist. And probably as a human being. I learned that putting myself in those uncomfortable growing situations didn’t actually have to be scary. I could be humbly in awe of these new pals and soak up as much of their genius as possible during our time together. I also found that they thought I had a little genius to offer them too, and I think that’s pretty cool.

The world is big. There’s so much to learn. Everyone has something to teach you. Everyone has a lot to learn. It’s not embarrassing, it’s really amazing. Find something this week you want to learn about. Pick something that has nothing to do with your job or anything remotely productive and adulty. Guess what? You’ll still be better for it. But that’s not why we do it, okay? We do it because it makes us feel alive. It makes us happy.

xo ash

ps this is a fun new thing for me. absolutely no pressure ever, this newsletter will always be free and it just makes me giddy that you all care to read my rambling life lessons as much as you do <3